An inner refusal, on the analyst's part, to perceive any reality-basis in himself for the patient's projection-laden, transference-linked images of him inevitably boomerangs in rendering him proportionately ineffective in his work. Particularly in work with borderline patients who tend so powerfully to become bearers of the burden of the analyst's projection of his own unconscious self-images as being , say, essentially non-human, or unfit to live, or incapable of caring, or incurably sadistic or jealous, or whatever, it is essential that the analyst become as open as possible to acknowledging to herself that even the patient's most severe psychopathology has some counterpart, perhaps relatively small by comparison but by no means insignificant, in his own Real Personality-functioning. We cannot help people to become well if we are unwittingly (unconsciously) trying to use them as the receptacle for our own most deeply-unwanted personality components, and trying essentially to require them to bear the burden of all the severe psychopathology in the whole relationship. Searles p. 22
Clark William Falconer
While this is what I would call a small t truth because it is a small t truth it is wise, I believe, not to regard it as the Truth with a capitol T. I think equally if not more importantly we can't help if we own responsibility for others problems, also a small t truth perhaps. So the challenge is how to stay focussed on the big T truth at all times and not get sidetracked by the little things in life, and as the pop psychology book says don't sweat the small stuff and it is all small stuff..
Yes - small - but also a matter of life and death. But the temptation to have power over (an anal temptation) is manifest in the scapegoating of people everywhere. Polymorphous perversity frozen into law and custom.